Pick-a-phobia March 14, 2003 - 2:51 p.m.

So I figured the realization of my fears would create some emotional rest. Allow some peace of mind.

But I was hugely mistaken.

I find myself glancing at windows and examining shadows much more now than I have before.

Last night I even had trouble sleeping. Flat on my back, eyes wandering from the right where the window is, directly in the center where the door is, and to the left where the shut bathroom and walk-in closet are both located. Shadows and light setting aside their differences to work together and create things that weren't there. I felt like a child afraid of the boogeyman under the bed.

And of course, the more I think about it, the more worked up the fear becomes. I'm fine in the day time, but the night allows hiding places for the evil.

I know, it's completely ridiculous. I can rationalize it in my head, but fears are superstitious and naive. Not to mention vunerable.

Fear seems to have it's own brain.

Maybe it's time for a lobotomy.

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