The current mood of the little nikki girl
*Gavin Anthony* - April 04, 2005
*Distractions* - February 24, 2005
*Othello, tha Moore of Vefunky Ass* - February 18, 2005
*Constantine* - February 09, 2005
*Weirdness* - January 29, 2005


Vinegar Cancer Test April 17, 2004 - 2:13 a.m.

So, I've got this tiny little dot of a mole on the under side of my forearm. It worries me, because it looks nothing like any other mark I already have. This thing looks kind of like a dark scab, but under the skin.

I have this fear - more like a feeling - that I'm going to die of cancer. From what I understand, cancer tends to have some genetic characteristic, much like heart disease. My grandmother fought several variants of cancer until it finally won out and I lost her almost ten years ago. That was my dad's mom. If I recall correcly, my mom's father also died of cancer. I could be wrong though. She was fairly young when he died, neither me nor my brother ever had a chance to meet him. And my mom, so far, has had skin cancer.

See, I'm paranoid. And having people in my family that have fought with this disease combined with the idea that it's possibly a family trait... I worry.

I have this spot on my cheek that looks like no normal mole or freckle. It's dark in colour and slightly inverted. It's been there for about five years or so. It was never there before and I've not been able to do anything about it since it showed up.

My immediate reaction? It's skin cancer.

Of course, I see this new spot on my arm and have the same reaction.

I recently heard that 30,000-70,000 people die every year, from skin cancer. Because they either don't notice those little marks on their skin, or they think nothing of it when they get them. I may be paranoid, but I don't want to be one those people. Then again, I'm of the predicament where I can't afford to see a doctor about it. So what's the point of worrying if it is potentially skin cancer, but then doing nothing about it in the long run?

Becky recently had her own cancer scare and went to have things checked out. While there, her doctor told her that vinegar aids in detecting cancer cells. If a cell is cancerous, then the vinegar will cause the area to turn white. Knowing that I had my own concerns, she passed this information on to me.

It sounds retarded, but I'm gullible. I'll admit... I tried it.

I got a cotton ball and soaked up some vinegar. Then I smeared it onto the spots on my cheek and arm. And I let it soak in. And I waited.

I'm assuming if it is cancer, then those cells are under the skin and the vinegar can't get to them - that, or it was a lame practical joke - because there was no colour change. And again, being the paranoid freak that I am, I'm not going to rely on these lack of results. I'm still going to be concerned.

Let's face it, whether it worked or not, I'd still be worried. Doesn't work; must be bullshit. Does work; well crap, I have cancer.

I guess I was looking for something definite to latch on to, instead of always guessing and assuming.

And because of that... I smell like a fresh dyed easter egg. Only, without the pretty colours and fancy designs.

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