Summer Vacations March 11, 2004 - 3:14 p.m.

I just got an email from my stepmom, telling me about Mary's Fear Factor birthday party.

"Of course, they don't make Fear Factor birthday kits, so this was all made up.

The first event was bobbing for onions and lemons vs. bobbing for apples. Only two kids bailed on that event and it was gross! The second event was a green-lime jello slip-n-slide were you had to crawl on your belly and get as many balls from one side to the other into buckets. That was a mess! The next event was a soapy trampoline with flags taped around the outside. You had to lay on your belly and get as many flags as you could in 60 seconds. That one did not go over as well as I planned, but the kids loved it. Then my friends (adults that is) decided that they were going to dump the onion/lemon/water mixture on the trampoline for added scent and flavor. The fourth event was a baby food eating contest. You had to suck baby food out of a straw. We had a few that threw up on that one. It was nasty. Of course I got really good flavors like Apple and Ham dinner, Chicken and broccoli delight, turkey and squash dinner, creamed spinach just to name of few. Of course my all time favorite was the prunes. I bet that kid got cleaned out that night. And did I mention that I got the First Starts baby food so that it was really runny and bland. YUMMY!!!!! The final event was a hugh bowl of vinegar soaked spagetti noodles with balls through-out. You had to dig with your mouth and get as many balls as you could in 30 seconds. Many had given up after the baby food, but it was still gross. Especially for the kids who had to go last.

Did I mention that I had about 19 kids there, not counting adults? And after all this madness, I fed them all pizza, bread sticks and soda- then sent them home. Needless to say, my house was trashed and my backyard looked like a construction site (a really messy one). But Mary said that it was the best birthday she had ever had!!! That was the important thing, right?"

Wow. That just sounds insane, but like lots of fun. I've never had a birthday party, so I'm kinda jealous here. My stepmom is always trying to do nice things for the kids. I loved going down there for the summer, she would have plans for almost every weekend.

My dad and I don't talk much. I don't mean to say we aren't on speaking terms or anything, it's just that neither of us is very talkative or knows what to say. My thing is, why talk to someone when you don't have anything to say. And I rarely have anything to say. I'm pretty sure he's the same way. Also, we're both the worst procrastinators.

I love my dad. I love visiting and talking about computers and sharing our dry, sarcastic sense of humour. I love that we can hang out, watch tv, and not feel there has to be any conversation.

But if it weren't for my stepmom, I wouldn't see my dad as often as I have.

My stepmom is really cool. She's only nine years older than I am, and one year younger than my brother. Not my father's son, by the way. Sometimes you look at her and see this mature adult and parent who's a leader and in control of everything and has things planned. While other times she's just a girl that likes to go shopping and looking for bargains and just wants to hang out and gossip.

Once her and my dad moved in together, I started visiting regularly. She was the one that planned my vacation every summer. She set up airline tickets or even drove to get me once or twice. She's the one that's taken me to get my glasses and contacts. She's taken me school shopping for new clothes. She's the one that even goes out and buys my Christmas and Birthday presents every year.

When I was 6, my grandparents made plans for me to visit and both drove all the way up here to get me. I stayed with them most of the time, and with my Dad on the weekends. He was with DragonLady then and she didn't like me. Which is okay, because I didn't like her. Total bitch. They took me to the beach and Sea World. I don't remember a whole lot other than spilling a drink at Sea World and having DragonLady get pissed, having Trolls in my room at his house and making a comment on why there was so much beer in the refrigerator.

It was after that, that he stopped drinking.

When I was 9, my mom and brother took me down there, because they were wanting to see the family as well. My mom still calls my grandparents Mom and Dad. We even took Samantha, our dog, with us. The Escort broke down and we stayed longer than intended. My brother and I slept in the living room of my dad's tiny apartment, and my mom slept with him. Not just literally. I had no idea what those noises were at the time... eeewwwwwww. Luckily, my brother just turned the volume on the TV up.

And then cut my nails in my sleep. With scissors. Bastard.

When I was 11, my mom decided another trip was in order. We rode with a friend, whom we dropped off in Jacksonville to stay with her family, and we stayed in a hotel. I think we only stayed for a few days because it was the middle of October and she took me out of school for this.

This is the year I met my stepmom. Her and my dad had just started dating, and she decided that I should come over and carve pumpkins with her and her son. Typical lets-get-to-know-you moment. It was fun. My pumpkin rocked, and we took pictures.

But my mom was jealous. So she took the pictures out of my suitcase and 'accidentally' left them behind. Then she forced me to leave my pumpkin in Jacksonville.

That still pisses me off. The one time I carved a pumpkin, and she won't let me keep it because of some petty bullshit.

It was the following summer, when I was 12, that my stepmom set up a visit for me. Her and my dad picked me up shortly after the end of the school year, and I stayed for a few weeks or a month. And because of her, it was every summer after that, that I got to see my dad and grandparents. Up until I was 20, and I was in Taylorsville, taking care of the dogs then. But I still visited when I was 20, it just wasn't in the summer.

I got to spend my first Thanksgiving and Christmas with my dad that year. And I owe it all to my stepmom.

The only time I've visited after that, and the most recent time, was when I went the summer before last. I'm long due for another vacation.

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