Projectile Vomiting December 29, 2003 - 1:48 a.m.

Chris is horribly sick. He threw up several times yesterday. I don't mean simple vomiting, I mean full on retching and spewing and funny noises.

He sounded like someone trying to strangle a hoarse, but high-pitched, cat while spraying it with a water hose.

It was awful. I couldn't listen. I winced every time he did it.

He tried drinking tea and eating crackers, but it wasn't working. He finally was able to fall asleep and slept for a decent amount of time. Since then, he hasn't gotten sick, but he still feels completely horrible.

He's trying to tell me it's food poisoning, not the flu. But I have my doubts.

I felt bad last night when I played on the computer for a little bit. It wasn't long, maybe an hour. But it felt mean. Kind of like "Hey sweety, you're sick? Poor thing. Well, I'm going to go play on your brand spankin' new computer while you sit here feeling like hammered ass." It's not like I didn't do what I could think of to help him. I kept checking his forehead and getting him a cold washcloth and making sure he had plenty to drink and constantly asked if he wanted some medicine... there just wasn't much of anything I could do to relieve his pains.

My mom was feeling better and said she would come over today to exchange gifts and get a shower. I called her and she said she would get ready and head over. About two hours later, I was getting ready to call her and see if she was on her way, and if not, could she bring some food over because Chris felt like he could finally eat something, but we had nothing in the house. Before I get the chance, she calls and says she's going to go next door and have dinner and watch a movie, that we might see her tomorrow.

Granted, she doesn't often have the opportunity to do that, it was still kind of annoying that we needed her help and she opted to do something useless instead. Also, she had been saying she was coming by since Christmas, but still hasn't done it. This is a constant thing with her.

So I felt like crap because I couldn't drive to get him any food. And even though he probably shouldn't have, he got dressed and got it himself. I went along, of course, just to make sure he was okay. It's not that he was incapable, it was the matter of him still feeling shitty and wanting to be cautious. If I could drive, it wouldn't have been an issue to begin with.

Hmmm... what else?

I've noticed I don't spend as much time on the computer anymore. I have a few things I check on the internet, but that can sometimes take up very little time. Which would be all fine and dandy, if only I would utilize that time and do something productive. Like with, say, a job. But I'm gimpy, so fuck off.

I've been in a horribly crappy mood for the last week or so. Typical self-deprecating crap. Just sitting or lying there, feeling useless and blank. Wanting feelings and emotions and worries to stop, only to think of bad ways to stop them. Ways that people would not be happy with. But I've not mentioned it, because I've not wanted to ruin anyone's Christmas. I've managed to cover it well around the house, aside from the regular naps. No one has said anything, and I prefer it that way.

I hate feeling like a burden.

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