I can't make enough sense of it to create a title. July 11, 2002 - 1:05 a.m.

I'm still thinking of doing a new layout. I'm just itching for something different, though I love this one.

This simple twist on simple tables. Simple colors, simple eyes, simple text. Simple words.

I can't count how many times I've thought of bringing my other layout over to this diary. My cheesy, not-read-by-anyone, diary. The one I created in mind for my always-under-construction website. Created solely for the purpose of being 'family friendly'. I honestly can't tell you (or myself) what its purpose is now. I haven't added anything new to it in over a month. Something to add to my long list of stupid things I need to do. One day.

Nothing is decided. And there's certainly nothing definite. Regardless of my decision. That's one thing I LOVE about HTML…. It's so forgiving. You don't like it, you mess up on a code, whatever… you just say 'fuck' and fix it. And then all is well in the world of hypertext.

Tomorrow, my plan is to write. Nothing but a pen or pencil and some dead tree in my lap. I need to write something just for the sake of it. I most likely won't share because it'll be crap, but I miss that little ache in my hand when I wrote all the time. Is it odd to miss something that trivial?

I would code….. but do you know how close to fucking impossible that is when you have a fidgety eight year old sitting literally an inch from you, in a tiny ass chair? She's afraid of burglars, killers, and kidnappers. Not bogeymen like most kids her age. She's afraid of the real thing. And apparently she only finds safety shoved a mile up my ass. I can't even get up from my chair completely before she jumps and says 'Where are you going, sissy???'. I can sympathize with her, I'm beyond paranoid myself. But I still have my rights, as an older sister, to complain about it.

And as I continue to ramble, my mind draws a complete blank. Dumb empty bastard.

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