New Hobbies December 23, 2003 - 1:20 a.m.

I am completely incompetent.

And scared.

Life terrifies me.

I don't want to grow up and I don't want to be responsible.

For anything.

I want to live in some false world where I don't have to give a shit about anything. Somewhere where I don't have to worry about petty bullshit. Somewhere where I don't make myself feel guilty for not living up to other people's standards. Somewhere where the sad 'what ifs' don't keep me up at night with fear.

For Christmas, I want my own cave. Far, far, far from any type of civilization.

Fuck movies. Fuck books. Fuck computer and tv, food and water. Fuck heat and air, clothing. Fuck all the trivial crap.

Give me a cave, Santa Claus, and I'll spend the rest of my days whittling toys for homeless kids and being blissfully ignornant of any other possible existence.

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