New Age Deity March 20, 2004 - 5:46 a.m.

Let's start by saying 'I hate ushering'.

Nothing bad happened. I just hate it.

When I go to the movies, I look at the floor and follow the person I'm with. I rely on them to find seats. I can't even find my own seats, so why have me help other people find seats... when they have tickets and the rows and seats are fucking labeled?!

Oh well.

We spent one hour before the show actually started, rushing around and helping people find their seats. Tonight they really needed help, because the jackasses that put the things together did something wrong. And instead of fixing it, they just put pieces of tape on the floor to indicate there was a change. So if someone followed the normal indicators, they would end up in the wrong seats. And the tape wasn't the most obvious way of correcting things.

Once the concert officially started, I was pretty much free to enjoy the show. I had to show a total of maybe... six people to their seats from the time the thing started to its ending. That left a lot of time to actually watch the show.

Tonight's concert in question: Yanni.

Oh yay.

My mom was making some comment about how the crowd will be very calm. And my response was 'Of course. They're all a bunch of new age stoners.' Yeah, can't say as I'm a big fan or anything. But apparenly, Yanni put in a request that none of the employees working the event wear bright colours. Guess it's an ambience thing. So they gave us navy sweaters for the night.

Yanni saved me from a night in that hideous yellow sweater.

That's one point in his favour.

The show itself wasn't too bad. The music was good, but it's not anything I see myself listening to on a regular basis. If a song came on the radio, I may listen for a bit, but ultimately change the channel.

The lights were cool. The variety of instruments and themes were neat as well. I enjoyed watching the different ways he would cue the rest of the group with a flick of his hand or a nod of his head or sometimes an exaggerated blink. I really liked the didgeridoo guy, and especially when he and the guy from Stomp were doing their goofy standoff. That was great stuff.

It was probably the third or fourth song into the show, and all of a sudden the three huge screens started displaying warped, trippy, animated fractal images. It was then that my mom turned and gave me this hilarious how-did-you-know look. Because Mom, the room was half full of people that genuinely felt some drug was going to give them this spiritual enlightenment and connection.

They're called New Age Hippies, Mom. Yanni is their God.

There definitely could have been worse concerts to be forced to sit through while you're getting paid. For example, they had a Tobey Keith concert a few weeks ago and asked me to work.

No fucking thanks.

I think I'd rather be broke and useless than put up with that noise.

Also, if he had shorter hair and he was balding, Yanni would look like my dad. Well, except that he had my mom's nose. That's it! Yanni's my long lost brother!!

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