Mysterious Solutions March 08, 2003 - 11:53 a.m.

My Mom called last night. Her words were 'Everything's taken care of'. But she wouldn't tell me how.

I don't know what scares me more... the idea of losing the house, or how she could have possibly gotten the money. But I guess as long as there's a roof and some walls, everything else isn't so bad. Even if the inside doesn't have running water, heat/air, or even electricity. If you have a bad day at work, you know you'll have the security of having a place to go afterwards.

The other day, after going into hysterics and feeling overwhelmed and helpless, Chris talked me into emailing my brother.

He convinced me that I needed my brother's input on how to deal with my mom. So I wrote up a rather lengthy message, telling him about the possible loss of the house, Mom's seemingly increasing insanity, her constant lies, etc.

And I clicked send.

And I regretted it.

Having my brother get involved right now will only make things worse. He would call her and make her feel lower than she already feels. And that may even cause resentment of me, for saying anything to anyone.

So I was kind of stressed about his reaction to the mail. Had I been in full thinking mode, I wouldn't have sent it. I would have just left things as they were, and done whatever I could to handle it myself.

So I was relieved to find out that his email isn't working right and everyone seems to be having their emails returned. I haven't, but I think it's an MSN thing. But, if he has received it, then he hasn't returned the message or made any phone calls.

Blah, blah, blah. Am I even making any sense?

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