Morons Have Too Many Rights July 24, 2003 - 4:44 a.m.

Speaking of stupid people allowing for relevant rants.....

What's with our country becoming sue-happy? Why is it that the smallest little thing seems to cause a lawsuit anymore?

'Oh god, I'm fat?! What... When did this happen? I'll blame McDonalds.'

Come on people, take the blame for your own fuck ups. They are your fault, and nobody elses. Step up to the plate and bear the load yourself. Say it with me now, YOU are at fault. No one else. Got that in there?

Fuckin' jackasses.

This is a constant thing lately. The new trend. Lawsuits are the new pink. Stupid lawsuits are just popping up everywhere, and for the stupidest reasons. I'm fat, I'll blame a fast food bigwig. I'm dying of cancer, I'll blame the cigarette companies. I got drunk and slammed into a telephone pole... I should sue the beer company, car company, and phone company for putting a pole directly in the way of my drunken path. Ugh!! Then you've got the people that feel their image has somehow been violated in the media. There was Spike Lee with TNN, saying they were abusing his name by wanting to call themselves SpikeTV. You can't copyright a name, asshair. I believe it was Spike Jones that stepped in a said 'Fine, they can use my name then'. Smartasses rock. There was recently another one involving Viacom (parent company to TNN aka SpikeTV) and Stan Lee, where a 'dancer' from Florida claims that the character of Stripperella/Erotica Jones was a 'theft' of her persona, and she's wanting them to stop airing the show. Every single movie or tv show that I've ever watched makes a point of adding the whole 'These characters are fictional' bit at the end. Otherwise, any midget with a ring could claim the hobbits from Lord of the Rings were molded from them. Any dysfunctional family could say they were the inspiration for Married with Children or Roseanne. Or reverse the concept, and any kid can continue to say he learned it on tv or from music lyrics.

I'm not one to usually follow the news, but this type of information seems to be heard all over the place. I guess it's the sheer stupidity that gets people talking. So it's no surprise that I heard about our state's governor trying to put a stop to it. Apparently he's trying to get at least a state law passed (maybe nationwide as well) that will prevent people from suing the fast food industry over something like weight gain. Now I'm not sure if it was limited to that one specific type of event, or if that was given simply as an example of what the law will cover. But it could essentially be the end of these useless lawsuits, which are a waste of time for the court systems.

Originally, I was torn on the idea. A part of me said "finally". Another part of me felt it was an invasion on the freedom given to us to seek retribution. But after giving it a moments thought, I'm all for it. Afterall, what these people are trying to do... is not retribution. What they are trying to do is take advantage of the system. They're looking for a free ride. They're playing the role of martyr and in some cases, winning for their performance.

It's sad that a law has to be passed in order to cease a small amount of mass stupidity. But the way I see it, if you're going to abuse the rights you're given, they should be taken away. You have to sacrifice some things in order to enjoy the luxury of freedom. And in this particular case, I don't feel that it's a sacrifice at all, but a prevention for abuse. As long as it doesn't get in the way of genuine issues, like spooge on your cheeseburger, I don't see what the problem would be of adding it. Until people learn that fast food helps you gain weight, that the warning sign on cigarette packages isn't just for looks, and that you can't be selfish and call a word or a simple concept all your own... then this law seems to be a mandatory addition.

That'll teach 'em to exploit the system.

Actually, I take that back. I'm sure they'll find a new way.

- Now watching: Harry and the Hendersons

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