Mirror, mirror Go to Hell July 27, 2002 - 1:17 a.m.

I want to be apathetic towards my appearance, and I often am (proven from various pictures)... but I find myself treating mirrors strangely.

When I see a mirror/reflective surface, I have one of two reactions. I either make it a point to avoid them, or I'm drawn to them.

Avoidance is never an issue. See a mirror. Look away. No more to it.

But looking tends to provoke thoughts. Of course, these thoughts are mostly overlooked by myself. But there are a few that linger around. Typically negative. Negative things always make more of an impact. The more unpleasant, the more memorable.

I'm so used to seeing nothing other than disgust staring back at me. Things so hideous and revolting, I'm amazed it wasn't immediately sentenced to death at birth. So much anger or self-loathing, no wonder it's easy to look away.

It's nice to look in the mirror and occasionally feel pretty. Dispite what you're wearing, how your hair looks, whether or not your face is caked in make-up. Maybe it's a single expression that causes it. It's just nice. To have someone seemingly different than yourself looking back... and knowing that it's really you.

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