More Than You, Buddy March 21, 2004 - 1:44 a.m.

My calves feel like they're going to implode.

That's what I get for being stuck in the middle of stairs for a few hours during a concert full of stupid people that need help finding their seats. Then having to constantly walk up and down said steps, with nowhere else to go.

I say this with love and compassion. Really, I do. I say this, because if I were going to a concert I would probably need help finding my seats as well.

But I'm a retard.

I have a valid excuse.

So today, my legs are angry with me and I can barely walk. When I told Chris, he made some comment like "That's because you don't get any exercise.'

He wasn't implying that I don't exercise, he was saying that because I'm not active. Which was his not so subtle way of calling me lazy.

Well fuck you, dickmunch.

It's not like he would know anyhow. Aside from the few hours we watch tv together each night, he's not around to see my habits.

When I'm awake and doing stuff, he's either asleep or at work. He doesn't see me doing my exercises in the afternoon, or late night if I forget. He doesn't notice when I run around cleaning up his mess or getting his dishes together then washing them. He doesn't seem to care that I get all the trash together and take it out, without his help. He doesn't realize I go wander around outside with the kitties, several times a day. I may be lazy, but I still manage to get things done, which requires movement and activity.

I've asked him a multitude of times if he would go walking around the neighborhood with me, because I feel like a jackass walking around by myself. And if he doesn't want to do that, I ask him if we can go walk around the mall or whatever. Just someplace so we can walk. We've gone to the mall with these intentions, but it always ends up being a very quick trip. And as far as walking around the neighborhood? There's always some lame excuse.

You know... I always feel bad. I always feel like I'm this waste of space and I'm a burden and I'm useless. But thinking about it... what does he do? He works, sure. He pays the bills. Then what? He comes home, plays EQ, watches some tv, and goes out and plays L5R - his card game.

I asked him last week if we could watch Amelie. I'd already seen it but he hadn't. So I figured it would be nice to sit down and watch something together and he wanted to see it. Instead he was preoccupied with leveling his Berserker or building and testing his new Crane deck, then going to sleep and barely waking up in enough time to get ready for work. It took over a week for him to finally make time to see it. Two fucking hours... and it took him over a week.

Everything he does, besides work, involves him sitting on his ass. And he has the right to say I'm being lazy and that's why my legs hurt?

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what he does for me and I fully understand the need to do something fun when you work all night. And it's not like he does nothing around here. He does go get the groceries - including stuff just for me because he knows I would like it. I just get pissed off when he makes these stupid comments and proves that he just doesn't understand or pay attention.

The next time he makes some comment about how I don't get enough exercise, I should respond with "Neither do you, lunchbox."

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