Hawking Loogies April 08, 2004 - 12:02 a.m.

Wanna hear something random?

In the past month or so I've had dreams. Well, that's like any other month. But there are two dreams in particular, and in these dreams there's a moment where I'm spitting. I'm either spitting on something/one or have eaten something that's digusting and ended up spitting it out.

Okay, spitting in a dream. Big deal, right?

Well, here comes the fucked up part.

Twice, recently, I've had a spitting dream. And twice, I've woken up just as I'm getting ready to spit in my sleep.

What the fuck?!

What... am I a chronic yet closet case spitter? Was I a tobacco chewing cud hound in a past life? Do I secretly desire to hawk loogies off of tall buildings and that desire is thus manifesting itself from dream to near waking?

I'm just waiting for the day when I don't wake up as I'm getting ready to spit. One day, I'll wake up to find a big goober soaking into the pillow or dribbling down my chin. Or, I'll wake up to the pain of being pummeled, as I've probably spit on Chris while he's trying to sleep.

There's just one thing I wanna know...

Am I preparing this wad of spit for distance, consequently making those hawking sounds in my sleep?

It's moments like this that you want to get a tape recorder and record your sleeping noises.

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