Financing Conundrum October 21, 2003 - 12:48 p.m.

Chris' mom is finally putting all of the bills into his name, and having him pay them. I certainly don't blame her, I'm actually surprised that she's been floating him for this long, but I can't help but feel stressed now.

He's horrible with money. He has trouble paying the bills he currently has. Most of them he's still paying for previous months. I don't know that anything's current. So now he also has to worry about water, electricity, and cable. He won't go without electric or water, so if cuts have to be made, I think cable and the internet will go bye-bye.

He's gotta start doing some serious budgeting, or he'll have to learn to deal without some luxuries. As it is, he'll have to make sacrifices. No random video game or movie purchases.

I'm trying to think, as a couple, how can I help him save money? But we never do anything. Very rarely do we go to the movies or out to dinner. Dinner is maybe once a month, and we often go months before going to see another movie in theaters. So if we eliminate that, it's not like there would be extra money abounds. Because of me, he's already a somewhat thrifty shopper where groceries are concerned. If I can get him to order less pizza, that would help. But if he really wants that for dinner, there's no stopping him. It's his decision anyhow. Otherwise, I can't think of anything. From what I've seen, other than his occasional game purchases, we're already cutting corners and making sacrifices.

See, this is just another prime example of why I need to get my shit together, get over whatever melodrama I've got going on inside my head, and get my ass a job. So that I can help him with bills, help my mom with the house, and get insurance to finally see a doctor about all my stupid ailments. And so that I would have money for the holidays, to buy presents. And to take care of the dogs and cats by buying Frontline and special treats and toys and getting Lady groomed and not have to scrape up every last bit of change I have just to get their shots done each year. And have my own spending money. To be able to buy myself something, even if it's just a book or dvd a month. And to start saving for a car and house and start my own Roth IRA and prepare for the future and find security in at least something.

Money is the devil.

That's all it boils down to.

And now, I'm going to go play my new game that Chris just bought for me on Sunday. Syberia, $20, on XBox. I felt guilty for even twenty bucks. But he insisted and wouldn't take no for an answer. He took it out of my hands and wouldn't let me put it back. I think I need to learn to say things like, "Oh, I won't ever play it, I just thought it looked neat" so that he won't spend the extra money on me.

Especially now.

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