Fire the Lifeguards August 30, 2002 - 7:35 p.m.

I’m either sleeping all day or I can’t sleep at all. You decide what’s worse, but I’ll tell you that they both suck.

I’m beginning to fade. I’m losing all motivation to function normally. I can actually feel my body and mind giving up. Mostly my mind. I’m at a loss. And to make it worse... I fucking hate it and can’t make it stop. Maybe I should just give up myself and drown into the overwhelming sense of apathy. It seems more blissful that way. Ignorance is bliss. I'm not ashamed to take the easy way out. Let the indifference tickle my nose, flow through my hair, burn my eyes, and slowly fill my lungs... as I choke, struggling instinctively.

Someone, please, hold me down. I promise... I won’t try to fight too hard.

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