The Bog of Eternal Stench March 06, 2003 - 12:44 p.m.

Tuesday night, my mom had free passes to go see 'Bringing Down the House'. A movie that I sadly wanted to see. Though it looked contrived and rehashed, it also looked like a fun movie. A movie using true comedy and not simply jokes about bodily functions or homophobia.

I enjoyed the movie. There were in fact several good laughs throughout. But I think I would have enjoyed the movie so much more had it not been for the stink coming from the row behind me.

For christ's sake... if you're going go out in public, especially in a crowded area, please; and I repeat, P L E A S E; have the decency to brush your teeth.

Yes... the foul smell that interfered with my movie was somebodies god-awful breath. Stadium seating. One row behind me. Yet I could still feel their breath on the side of my face. And most importantly, I could smell it. No, no... it wasn't even a matter of simply smelling it. I couldn't escape the stuff. I squirmed non-stop. Turning to the left, turning to the right. Trying to watch the movie out of the corner of my eye with my head turned away. It followed my nostrils like a rabid dog to a meaty bone. My only escape was cuffing the sleeve of my hoody over my mouth and nose. And even then, the smell would occasionally waft through.

UGH! That cold, metallic, sulfuric, haven't-eaten-anything-all-day stench. It lingered until well after we left the theatre. I missed many a good laughs trying to avoid that invisible, crawling fungus.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not the best at remembering to brush my teeth daily. Pretty gross, I know. Hell, there's been plenty of times that I've remembered, but not cared enough to actually do it. But then again, I'm only sitting around the house and if my breath is offensive, I trust Chris would say something.

But this smell... it was completely horrendous. The key ingredient to the most terrifying nightmares. I've never encountered breath this malodorous. And they were easily three feet behind me!!!

There's just no describing it. And I won't say 'you'd have to experience it yourself' because I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

.: Googles .: Registered! .: For Sale .: My Store

Design :. Picture :. Trading Card :. Host :.