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Bullshit Excuses August 27, 2003 - 3:59 p.m. I know I can have a better life for myself. I know it's possible and I can make it happen somehow. Yet I continue to find reasons why I can't, at least right now. Whether it be my odd fears and paranoia that I won't/can't get over or little things like working around others' schedules and worrying that I won't be able to wash clothes if I work near my mom's house or needing to focus on the problems on our house... I seem to find a reason why I can't do the things I need to in order to take care of myself. But it's all bullshit. There is no excuse. If I really wanted to take care of my own shit, then I'd find a way to do it. So I guess I'm just finding any excuse I can to not grow up and become responsible. Or this is my way of hiding from the future. What scares me so much about growing up and changing things? I know I won't lose my childlike persona, so why should I worry about being mature when the need presents itself? What exactly is it that I'm hiding from?
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