Bratty God April 30, 2004 - 11:18 a.m.

Maybe I got abducted by aliens and they knocked me up, so now I'm having wacky pregnant nightmares.

I was beating a little girl last night.

She was probably 7 or 8, and I was punching her as hard as I could in the head and kicking her and throwing her around. Really trying to hurt her. Wanting so very much to hurt her. To teach her. To open her eyes. To make her cry.

But, you see, this was no normal girl. And she wouldn't cry.

She seemed to have this weird ability where she could control and shift reality. What she didn't like, she changed. And as I was beating her, she changed things so that she wouldn't feel it, just because she knew it was pissing me off. And once she got bored with that, she would change the scenery and we would be walking through the park, hand in hand, while I was carrying a picnic basket in my other hand. We would be walking for a few minutes, and I would suddenly realize she had changed things, then start hitting her or yelling at her again.

Every time she changed things, it would be a happy moment with sunshine and cupcakes and laughter and I wasn't the role of her mother, but more of a nanny figure. And though she was striving for these happy moments, she was actually an evil beast monster that was changing things to her own whim. Think Twilight Zone: The Movie.

And there was something about her having 'the key' and no one else did.

I think I may have been trying to get the key from her, hence the beating. There may have been more behind the beatings though.

I remember there being baskets full of puppies and I was having to send them through a machine to make sure they weren't sick. I think this machine searched for cancer, and caused any possible cancer to glow a bright green to be seen through the skin. Kind of like a neon x-ray machine, but looking directly at the animal not just at some picture.

I'm guessing the girl got jealous at the attention I was giving these puppies, because they suddenly started disappearing. And I immediately knew she was responsible. I started replying with simple requests like 'bring them back' and 'stop it'. But as more and more disappeared, the more my anger grew. She was fucking with sick puppies that needed immediate treatment, after all.

It seems like this 'key' she had, was the way to free the puppies from wherever she put them. Maybe the key was the way to break her control on reality. Taking her key was ending her manipulation.

She was a monster or god in the guise of a little girl, and that didn't intimidate me.

Dreams have been more interesting than waking life lately. Which isn't really bad, just boring to mention everyday stuff. If this keeps up, this will become a dream journal. Though not intentionally.

Let's see... real life events...

Chris says he might stop playing L5R for awhile, because it's too pricey. I think he's finally realized he's spending too much money on a card game that goes nowhere. The only benefits I could see from it, were socializing and brain-use. That was his time to hang out with his friends and have fun, and the game itself required strategy and planning. But as costly as it is, it just didn't make since to me unless he was doing well in competitions and getting his money back for it. Which he wasn't. But I never said anything, because I knew this was something he enjoyed and I didn't want to ruin that for him. I'm very glad he figured it out on his own.

In other news, season finales are coming up. And though I'm sad to see Angel ending and wish there were several more episodes to follow, I'm actually looking forward to having this TV season end. I'm such a slave to the tube and I can't seem to pull myself away from it. I get caught up in all these different storylines, and I just have to find out how they end. I keep telling myself I'm not going to watch any new shows next season, but I think we all know that's a load of shit.

Eh, my intentions are good.

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