Trendy Bald Pants June 07, 2002 - 6:41 a.m.

Now playing: "The Road" - Tenacious D

As you can probably tell, I’m stuck in this mixed ‘motivation/revelation’ theme. I suppose a lot of issues boil down to that basic theme, so it may not be so odd after all. Yet it still feels redundant and tedious. Like I have nothing else to mention. But I can’t seem to break out of it right now, so we’ll both just have to deal with it.

I always have these little tidbits of ideas, emotions, or opinions that I never express. If I were to start expressing them, I may seem semi-amusing. But again, as I’ve mentioned before, they’re so fleeting that they’re typically gone before I have a chance to realize they’re even there to begin with. And the few I have caught glimpse of are just stashed away somewhere, never to breath again.

I’m going to now put one of those opinions on a respirator. Give it a bit of a fake life for all to mock. Because that’s what any sane individual would do to such a trivial piece of information, as you’ll soon see if I ever decide to get around to the point of this entry. Maybe I’ll drag it out some more, just to annoy you, my ‘audience’.

So, how’s the weather? Read any good books lately? See any good movies? You think I’m teasing you, but I’d actually like to know these things.

I bet you’re now expecting this earth shattering revelation. That beautiful insight into my soul or some shit. HA! You’d be sorely mistaken! This is about fashion, motherfucker. One. Single. Trend.

I’ve thought about this particular thing on several occasions, but never expressed it. (Am I becoming repetitive yet?) So tonight when I saw this supposed ‘fashion style’ on TV, I went off. Just being goofy, but decided to devote an entry to it, none-the-less. It won’t be nearly as amusing now, because I’ve forgotten most of my points. So you’re getting the raw, bare boned, lame version of my opinion.

And this is where I stop being evasive and reveal some specifics.

Remember in the ‘80s, they would sell jeans for around $100? They were marked so high simply because someone decided to attack them with a pair of scissors and actually remove random chunks of fabrics. Frayed holes. So you’re now paying way more for something that now has less material and your foot slips through when you’re trying to put the jeans on and ends up sticking out of the knee. Besides, you could spend $5 for a used pair and do the same thing yourself. Oh, but the trendy can’t be inconvenienced with such petty chores. How stupid of me to forget.

Before I continue with my point (I’m getting good at avoiding it) I want to add that I couldn’t care less what kind of style other people wear. Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean people shouldn’t wear it. Fuck, I’m not an elitist. These are just my personal opinions which I’m choosing to express in my diary. You dig the style. Groovy. Good for you. Maintain those decision making skills. They’ll actually benefit you in the future when you have real choices to make.

Maybe I’ll continue now.

That 80’s jean trend now has a cousin. Instead of holes it’s the faded, worn look. First off, there’s the kind that look brownish and dirty. Can someone please tell me why I should spend, what is it, like 50 bucks, on a BRAND NEW pair of jeans that look like they’ve been caked in mud? I’ve seen these and have literally been afraid to touch them because I didn’t know if there was a bathroom nearby to wash my hands afterwards. These are just disgusting. I can’t find a single excuse for them.

Then there’s the jeans that are faded. Not all over, just down the legs, to make them look aged. Okay, whatever.... some of them look alright. Nothing too goofy, no big deal. But then you’ve got the... well, let’s call them ‘bald pants’. Bald pants have obvious sections of a drastically lighter shade. Typically I’ve seen these spots either on the knees or the butt. The knees are understandable because the little sluts are on their knees a lot. That’s my theory anyhow, don’t try to dispute it. It doesn’t change the fact that it still looks stupid. But the ass??? Okay, I’ll bite... Is there a special meaning to this? What kind of statement are they going for? The ‘Oops I sat in some bleach’ one? They look like some doofy cunt forgot to change her tampon and decided to use the entire bottle of bleach to clean the blood stain out of her pants. Her moment of stupidity (most likely not the first one either) gave way to this retarded trend. The birth of bald pants.

I’m hoping we soon get to see the death of bald pants. Fad deaths are always fun. Someone... please... shoot it and end the misery?

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