All Forgotten January 30, 2004 - 11:07 a.m.

Sooo... he forgot.

He didn't get to sleep until around noon, and I woke up shortly after that. Then he didn't wake up until 7ish. At which point we got up and got dressed then ran up to McDonald's. No trip to the grocery store, like we really needed. When we got back, there was a message from my mom. She said she called to wish me a Happy Birthday and babbled on about some other crap. I think there was a warning to be careful because the roads are bad.

He was silent for a minute.

Then, shocked and confused, he simply said 'It's your birthday, isn't it.' More stating the realization to himself rather than questioning me.

Apparently, with the deal about dinner with the family this weekend... he just thought my birthday wasn't until Saturday. The reason we picked Saturday, was to celebrate a few birthdays. And with birthday intentions for dinner, he didn't really think of the fact that the dinner wasn't on my actual birthday. He knows the date, it's the same as his dad's, he just hadn't put together the fact that the two things weren't occurring on the same day.

He felt like shit. He was apologizing like mad and saying he was a crappy boyfriend because he gave me a 'poopy birthday'.

I was trying to tell him it was okay. There's not much we could have done anyhow, because he has almost no money and we still need groceries, as well as a fridge. That stuff is far more important than going to see a movie or having dinner - something that could easily be done another time. And I understand not remembering, because I rarely know what day of the week it is, let alone what day of the month. The only reason I actually remembered the day was because it was my birthday.

But the truth is, it still hurt. I still felt... forgotten.

And it's not because I didn't get a nice dinner or presents - which he originally planned on getting today so that he'd have it by tomorrow, my unbirthday - and it's not about not having a cake or hearing a silly little song. It's simply about the acknowledgement. It's simply hearing those two words - Happy Birthday - that make it important.

He called at 2am yesterday, and I thought for sure it was to say it. I thought he wanted to be the first to tell me. That is, until he said 'I didn't really have a reason to call' just before he had to get back to work.

At least he didn't realize a day or two later. He would have really been kicking himself if that had been the case.

Then again, I probably would have been kicking him too.

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