"I Love You" ?? 2001-08-03 - 1:39 a.m.

-- I -- Love -- You --

Three little words.

Commonly used.

But not by me.

I always feel bad not saying them in return. They're said to me, and I kind of just sit there... no response.

It's not that I feel weird having it said to me. As a matter of fact, I quite enjoy it. Especially that little thing when your heart just stops. It's like your heart is taking time to savor the moment, take an emotional picture of it. It's just that I can't say it back, and it makes the moment a little.... well... odd.

Believe me, there are those times that I want to say it. But that little creature of doubt pops up...

"Hey! You don't mean it, do you?? I mean, ya know, what if you're wrong?? Huh? What then??"

And that stops everything. That one little moment of self-doubt.

Yeah, okay, maybe you're thinking I'm the typical girl for wanting to 'wait until I'm sure'. Go ahead and think that. You're free to feel whatever you want. But let me add, in my opinion, it's the typical girl (or guy sometimes) that will say 'I Love You' to whomever their current conquest is. Sometimes they may believe that person is the 'one'. Yeah, for that whole week they've found Mr. Perfect. Until they see Mr. More than Perfect. Then he becomes the new 'one'. Geez. How many ones are out there? And I always thought 'one' was singular. Guess not. *shrugs*

No, I'm not going to give in and say it just because it's said to me. When I feel like I can say it without having that doubt, it will be heard. Am I stupid for thinking that? Will the doubt always be there? Maybe. But I'll have to face that myself.

Until that time comes, I'm content with the showers of praise that I hand out. The term 'I like you' and 'You are wonderful' are commonplace. Not to mention the kisses and mega-hugs. Actions speak louder than words, after all.

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